Frustration

Most Nice Guys have one thing in common.    Beneath the Nice Guy exterior, there is an inner rage.   This inner rage is brought about by years of frustration behind not getting the things we want out of life.   It's the frustration of being passed over for a promotion.   It's the anguish of yet another female putting us in the friend zone, and telling us "Oh you'll make some woman very happy one day" while she keeps dating losers.  It's the inner turmoil of being treated like a 2nd class citizen in your own home and being happy with the few scraps of attention (aka sex) your woman throws your way.  

If you're truly honest with yourself, just reading this is probably getting you upset right now because you recognize yourself in a few of the situations I mentioned.  Whether you're willing to admit it or not, we all have that inner rage.   The key is to put that frustration to good use instead of constantly playing the role of a victim.  

There are a few outlets where you can release some of that frustration and put it to good use.   One of the BEST ways to do this is working out.    I can just hear most of you sitting over there groaning right now.  Just hear me out.   Working out is the absolute best way of releasing that pent up rage and it has quite a few benefits. Number one is you'll start to sleep better at night, which could mean waking up in a more pleasant mood.   Usually after you work out, you feel better about yourself mentally because you accomplished something for the day.   When you feel better about yourself mentally you start developing a little more confidence.   That confidence will carry itself over into other aspects of your life like women, and your job.

Here's another thing to consider.   It is a proven fact that people who are in shape make more money than those who aren't.   Doesn't sound fair, but it's the truth.  People subconsciously have more respect and admiration for those who are in shape.   Don't believe me?   Just go to your local gym and look at the guys who are muscular and look like they belong in a magazine.   Then start looking around the gym at the women.    You'll notice the women (who are too slick to actually gawk at guys) are casually checking out a guy who is buff.   What you'll also notice is guys checking the dude out too.   Think about that for a moment.  You have heterosexual guys noticing another guy.   Same applies to women too.  Women will check out other women who are in great shape as well.   That's how strong the attraction is to people who are in shape.

With all this being said, you don't have try and build a physique like The Rock to achieve results.   People (myself included) often go into working out looking for the wrong results.   They want to look like the people they see in movies, and after a few weeks of the gym they get frustrated because they don't see results fast enough.   Your goal should be simple.  Just get in better shape.   For example if you are on high blood pressure medication and carrying around an extra 30-50 lbs, this should be a no-brainer.    Losing just 10-15 lbs may be enough for your doctor to take you off blood pressure medication.    One of the common side effects of blood pressure medication is that it lowers your libido.   Just getting off the medication would be a tremendous goal for most people and a great boost of confidence.   People will also start giving you positive comments about your weight loss which is another ego boost.

There are other outlets for your frustration too, such as finding a new job.   When you are a guy who is perpetually frustrated, the last thing you need is to work a frustrating job.   Now all jobs can and should have some amount of frustration, but if you find yourself being frustrated EVERY DAY at your job, it's time to look for new work.   If you've been putting off doing something for a while, put your energy towards that.  It could be doing some work around the house, finishing your degree, or any other number of things to channel your energy.

Just know that if you let the frustration build up long enough, it WILL come out in some form, and often not in a positive way.  The last thing you need is to be looked at as a doormat (Nice Guy) AND a malcontent because you yelled at the Starbucks lady for not putting enough caramel in your foo foo coffee.