If there is one type of career path that a typical Nice Guy should avoid at all costs, it is any type of customer service job where you deal directly with the general public. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you should be sitting on your ass making a dent in your mama's couch instead of working. In this economy some of us are lucky to get any job we can land, but let me explain why a customer service job should be a Nice Guy's last resort as a career path. I know about this firsthand, as I've worked customer service for years.
First off, customer service is a THANKLESS job. You will work lots of frustrating, stress-filled hours with little to no appreciation from customers or higher ups. You will also have ZERO input on most company matters. Also as a customer service rep your attendance and tardiness will be held to a higher standard than your bosses. You are just an easily replaceable worker bee and you will be treated as such. The very nature of a customer service job is clouded in negative energy because usually a customer only contacts you when there is a problem. It's very rare that a customer calls or emails to tell you what a fantastic job your company is doing, so you are constantly interacting with people who are in a negative (upset) frame of mind. Talking to people with negative energy all day long eventually will take its toll on you, and you will find yourself in a negative mindset as well. If you are going to work in customer service, you should approach it with the goal of becoming a customer service manager.
Secondly, customer service requires you to be a subservient ass-kisser. You know, because "the customer is always right". Nice Guys are usually subservient and like to avoid conflict anyway so this comes 2nd nature to us, but when you are trying to change who you are as a person, a customer service job is counterproductive to your goal. You can't spend 8+ hours a day kissing people's asses, agreeing with everything they say whether its right or wrong, and then expect to go home and be "The Man" in your relationship. Even if a customer is wrong, usually you don't have a leg to stand on to try and defend yourself. You just have to say "Yes sir" or "Yes ma'am" and do what the customer asks.
Finally, there really isn't much of a tangible reward for working hard. Let's say you are a computer programmer. You go balls to the wall and bust your ass Monday through Wednesday. Typically that means you can slack off a little on Thursday and Friday since you busted your ass earlier in the week. Same can be said for most jobs. Let's say you're a customer service employee in a call center. Let's say on Monday you're gonna bust your ass and take as many calls as possible. When you come in Tuesday, guess what? You'll be doing the same thing on Tuesday because the calls aren't going to stop coming in. So that basically means whether you slack off all week or bust your ass all week, the calls are going to be the same.
The perfect analogy for this is pushing a boulder up a hill all day on Monday. When you go back to it on Tuesday, the boulder has rolled all the way back down the hill and you have to start over. Same for Wednesday, same for Thursday. It's like spending your entire day shoveling a pile of shit only to come back the next day and discover the pile is still there.
These behaviors are all counter productive when you are trying to make yourself into a new person. A person who stands up for himself. A person who knows when he is being mistreated and knows it is not acceptable. Only take a customer service job if you have to, but don't make it a lifelong career path.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Women and Kids
In this day and age, if you're in your mid 20's or 30's most of the women you are trying to date will have kids. Now understand there is nothing inherently wrong with dating a woman who has kids. Do understand however, that the life of a step parent isn't going to be like an episode of The Brady Brunch. Marriages where step kids are involved are almost twice as likely to fail than most "normal" marriages. I'm not here to preach about whether you should or should not date someone with kids, because there are plenty of other resources out there that discuss this issue. I'm going to approach this from an entirely different angle.
Now most women who have kids aren't going to have a tremendous amount of free time. There's soccer practice, dance lessons, band practice, and hundreds of other activities which will eat up your prospective date's time. So lets say you start dating a women with kids. Things are going great, as she has plenty of time to go on dates with you, watch TV, and all the other things two people who are dating should be doing. You start thinking to yourself that this is awesome, because of course she's giving you all the pussy you can handle. One question you should be asking yourself:
Where the fuck is her kid?
See most guys are so happy that they're finally getting some steady pussy this question never crosses their mind. If you've been dating a girl with a kid for a few months and it seems like she always has time to meet up with you, or is always at your house riding you like a rodeo cowboy, there's something wrong with this picture. Seriously wrong. As a matter of fact this should be a huge red flag. How is it that she has all this free time to spend with you when she has a kid to raise? Once again, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking you've got this sex goddess that's giving you more pink taco than you've had in a long while, why should you care where her kid is? I'll tell you why.
First off, if she's spending all of that time with you, then that means somebody else is having to raise her kid. It could be her parents, grandparents, another relative or friend....but the bottom line is that somebody else is stuck taking care of HER kid while she's rolling around the sheets with you. This shows a tremendous lack of responsibility on her part. This lack of responsibility usually manifests itself in other ways too. The women who are too irresponsible to take care of their child are the same ones who are too irresponsible to keep a job for any longer than a few months, are always behind on their rent, and they're always broke.
I know. I know. You love getting a constant supply of booty, so here's the part where you'll make excuses for her. "The father has custody of the kids, that's why she doesn't have them often." I'm about to burst that bubble too. We all know that the court system in most countries will side with the female parent when it comes to custody of the kids. Unless a mom walks into court with a needle hanging from her arm while she smokes a joint, it's pretty much a forgone conclusion on who is going to win a custody battle. So in other words, you pretty much have to be an absolute asshole of a mom in order for a judge to award custody to a father. Even then the dad's chances of winning are slim. So if you're dating a woman and her ex has custody of her child, you can pretty much guarantee she is a piece of shit lowlife, or she wanted nothing to do with her kids in the first place.
Still don't care you say? Let me throw this at you. What if you get her pregnant? Who do you think will be taking care of that kid once it's born? (If you don't know the answer to this question, I suggest you go take a look in the bathroom mirror.) That's right, you will be stuck raising that kid. She will have moved on to the next chump while you're stuck at home changing diapers. She'll be out wasting her money on nightclubs and having fun while you're trying to figure out how you're going to afford daycare. No do you get the picture?
If a woman has a kid and she doesn't have custody or is able to meet you for a date at a moments notice....
Run.
Just Run.
Run as fast as you can away from that loser because you don't want anything to do with a mom who doesn't care about providing for her kids.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
What Type of Guy are You?
Throughout my blog you may hear references to being an Alpha or Beta male. To clear up any confusion, here are a few brief descriptions of the different types of men. Which one are you?
Alpha Male
This type of Male is the guy who does it all fearlessly and for absolutely no one but himself. No female will ever control him, and those that try are promptly shown to the proverbial door. Never the less the hotties follow him around everywhere, and this is how he is most easily recognized in a crowd.
Nothing hurts the Alpha emotionally (since he is as far out of touch with his own emotions as is humanly possible) and physical injury is all simply part and parcel to the game, as he will gladly, proudly and LOUDLY explain, all while showing off his most recent battle wounds to a delighted crowd of 'oohers and ahhers'.
This guy's strength in the face of adversity is legendary and unmatched. He is the guy who gets more ass than a toilet seat. He ALWAYS gets the position and the promotion. His female neighbors admire and desire him. His male neighbors either love or despise him completely, and he cares about none of it. The best descriptors for the Alpha Male are: arrogant, aloof, boorish and sexually obsessed.
Beta Male
The very antithesis of the Alpha Male, this sad sack has spent his entire adult life abandoning any and all traditional (or Alpha) male gender roles and has instead dedicated his life to pleasing others (i.e. females). His needs come dead last, and you will never, ever hear him complain about it, even though he and everyone he knows is aware of how miserable he truly is. He is easily recognized in a crowd by his overbearing and domineering wife (though not necessarily large in physical stature), who is seldom far from his side.
This terrifying creature controls every aspect of his life; his time, his money and his social/sex life, and he wouldn't say shit about it if he had a mouthful, either.
This burned out shell of a man will most likely die early in his ceaseless and futile attempts to please the women in his life and not much about him will be missed by very many of them afterward, except for the selfless service he provided to them, perhaps. The best descriptors for the Beta Male are: hen-pecked, withdrawn, depressed and exhausted.
Omega Male
This Man has been forever put through the wringer by the females in his life. He is usually divorced, living alone and destitute. He is happy to receive the meager leftover scraps of a former life from his ex-wife, the court and even his kids, like a starving man feels about receiving a single cracker.
He is not necessarily suicidal, but he certainly is still very much a masochist.
His days consist of scraping by at some menial low wage job, and getting as drunk/stoned as he possibly can during the down time. He has few friends left except maybe his mother, as everyone else in his life is now gone, due to his protracted self pity and intoxication. He is not easily spotted or recognized in a crowd as he seldom goes anywhere except work and home to get drunk/stoned. He too will most likely die early out of self neglect and abuse. The Omega Male's best descriptors are: ashamed, intoxicated, detached and angry.
Zeta Male
This Man has finally come full circle, having himself been each of the above type, at some point or another in his life. He now realizes that his whole life had been about his winning the approval of others (i.e. females) with virtually no returns on his investment whatsoever. Once this shattering reality had at last set in, his choice to reject the Alpha, Beta and Omega male lifestyles for a better way, became obvious.
The Zeta Male is able to succeed and be happy with himself (according to his own definitions), no matter who may or may not approve. He is neither a jock douche bag, a wimpy nerd, nor a hopeless loser. He knows how to unashamedly draw on or reject either type's strengths and weaknesses, depending on his situation, if needs be. He has decided to reject trying to win the approval of others (especially females) and instead is focused on the bigger realities of life, such as his own self-approval and acceptance. He is easily recognized in a crowd because he is the one having the most (genuine) fun regardless of others (females) around him. He feels no need to show off nor apologize in any way, and he is well liked for it. The best descriptors for the Zeta Male are: self sufficient, happy, unashamed and whole.
Alpha Male
This type of Male is the guy who does it all fearlessly and for absolutely no one but himself. No female will ever control him, and those that try are promptly shown to the proverbial door. Never the less the hotties follow him around everywhere, and this is how he is most easily recognized in a crowd.
Nothing hurts the Alpha emotionally (since he is as far out of touch with his own emotions as is humanly possible) and physical injury is all simply part and parcel to the game, as he will gladly, proudly and LOUDLY explain, all while showing off his most recent battle wounds to a delighted crowd of 'oohers and ahhers'.
This guy's strength in the face of adversity is legendary and unmatched. He is the guy who gets more ass than a toilet seat. He ALWAYS gets the position and the promotion. His female neighbors admire and desire him. His male neighbors either love or despise him completely, and he cares about none of it. The best descriptors for the Alpha Male are: arrogant, aloof, boorish and sexually obsessed.
Beta Male
The very antithesis of the Alpha Male, this sad sack has spent his entire adult life abandoning any and all traditional (or Alpha) male gender roles and has instead dedicated his life to pleasing others (i.e. females). His needs come dead last, and you will never, ever hear him complain about it, even though he and everyone he knows is aware of how miserable he truly is. He is easily recognized in a crowd by his overbearing and domineering wife (though not necessarily large in physical stature), who is seldom far from his side.
This terrifying creature controls every aspect of his life; his time, his money and his social/sex life, and he wouldn't say shit about it if he had a mouthful, either.
This burned out shell of a man will most likely die early in his ceaseless and futile attempts to please the women in his life and not much about him will be missed by very many of them afterward, except for the selfless service he provided to them, perhaps. The best descriptors for the Beta Male are: hen-pecked, withdrawn, depressed and exhausted.
Omega Male
This Man has been forever put through the wringer by the females in his life. He is usually divorced, living alone and destitute. He is happy to receive the meager leftover scraps of a former life from his ex-wife, the court and even his kids, like a starving man feels about receiving a single cracker.
He is not necessarily suicidal, but he certainly is still very much a masochist.
His days consist of scraping by at some menial low wage job, and getting as drunk/stoned as he possibly can during the down time. He has few friends left except maybe his mother, as everyone else in his life is now gone, due to his protracted self pity and intoxication. He is not easily spotted or recognized in a crowd as he seldom goes anywhere except work and home to get drunk/stoned. He too will most likely die early out of self neglect and abuse. The Omega Male's best descriptors are: ashamed, intoxicated, detached and angry.
Zeta Male
This Man has finally come full circle, having himself been each of the above type, at some point or another in his life. He now realizes that his whole life had been about his winning the approval of others (i.e. females) with virtually no returns on his investment whatsoever. Once this shattering reality had at last set in, his choice to reject the Alpha, Beta and Omega male lifestyles for a better way, became obvious.
The Zeta Male is able to succeed and be happy with himself (according to his own definitions), no matter who may or may not approve. He is neither a jock douche bag, a wimpy nerd, nor a hopeless loser. He knows how to unashamedly draw on or reject either type's strengths and weaknesses, depending on his situation, if needs be. He has decided to reject trying to win the approval of others (especially females) and instead is focused on the bigger realities of life, such as his own self-approval and acceptance. He is easily recognized in a crowd because he is the one having the most (genuine) fun regardless of others (females) around him. He feels no need to show off nor apologize in any way, and he is well liked for it. The best descriptors for the Zeta Male are: self sufficient, happy, unashamed and whole.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Paying for Affection (also known as Dating)
It pains me to see guys bending over backwards trying to please women that have no interest in them whatsoever. I've witnessed it firsthand and have been guilty of it myself in the past. I've seen guys spend hundreds, and even thousands of dollars over the course of a few months for women and still not get laid. I've also seen women use the fact that a guy likes them to get a Coach purse, a free trip somewhere, even a down payment for a car. What's even funnier is the guys who these women ARE having sex with aren't even putting forth much of an effort. The guys they're sleeping with don't even have to buy a Happy Meal, much less take them to a nice restaurant. Furthermore, most women who are worth a damn wouldn't ever allow a guy to do all of those things for her in the first place, so that should be your first clue that you are being taken advantage of.
Guys, think about the last woman you had sex with. I mean really think about it. Did you have to take her on an endless amount of dates to get laid? Did you have to spend months getting to know her? Chances are you didn't have to do any of these things. The woman liked you and wanted to have sex with you, and it didn't take a lot of effort on your part either. The problem most guys have is they waste countless weeks and months pursuing women who have no interest in them whatsover. Think about it. If a woman actually LIKES you, why would she not want to have sex with you?
There are those rare occurrences when you run across a woman who says she wants to be celibate. The trick here is to figure out if she's really wanting to abstain from sex altogether, or if she just wants to abstain from having sex with YOU. The key is to look at what she DOES, not what she says. If you find that it's difficult to arrange dates with this woman or find that you're always calling her and she doesn't initiate many phone calls, then you're probably being played. If you're having to beg, borrow, and steal for the tiniest bit of affection from her then you need to look elsewhere. Even if a woman really is wanting to be celibate, she will still let you know that she really likes you in other ways. She'll still want to spend time with you, hold your hand, will invite you over for dinner, etc.
Don't be a fool and waste your time and money on women who have no interest in you. Like I always say if you really want to waste your money, got to the nearest strip club. At least you'll get to see naked women in exchange for your hard earned dollars.
Friday, June 7, 2013
The 16 Commandments of Poon
These commandments have been around for quite a few years that first came out on a blog called "Heartiste: Where Pretty Lies Perish". I don't agree with all of it, but it's something that every Nice Guy definitely needs to read at least once:
I. Never Say I Love You First
Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man's heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention.
II. Make Her Jealous
Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this, but jealousy excites them. No woman wants a man that other women don't want.
III. You Shall Make Your Mission [i.e. job], Not Your Woman, Your Priority
Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be "The One" or the center of a man's existence.
IV. Don't Play By Her Rules
If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and submit to, a more powerful man.
V. Adhere To The Golden Ratio: 2/3
Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more.
VI. Keep Her Guessing
True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don't really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight - his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate.
VII. Always Keep Two In The Kitty
A man with options is a man without need.
VIII. Say You're Sorry Only When Absolutely Necessary
Do not say you are sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies.
IX. Connect with her emotions
Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman's emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendezvous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic.
X. Ignore Her Beauty
The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. [Those who] lose their awe of beauty will, in turn, lose their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself "she's interesting" or "she might be worth getting to know". Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially a girl you're not fucking.
XI. Be Irrationally Self-Confident
No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does no matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get, what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog's instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don't make it easy for them.
XII. Maximize Your Strengths, Minimize Your Weaknesses
In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit...there is a groupie for every male endeavor.
XIII. Err On The Side Of Too Much Boldness, Rather Than Too Little
Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don't let a woman's faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known.
XIV. Fuck Her Good
Fuck her like it's your last fuck. And hers
XV. Maintain Your State Control
You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.
XVI. Never Be Afraid To Lose Her
You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don't give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.
I. Never Say I Love You First
Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man's heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention.
II. Make Her Jealous
Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this, but jealousy excites them. No woman wants a man that other women don't want.
III. You Shall Make Your Mission [i.e. job], Not Your Woman, Your Priority
Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be "The One" or the center of a man's existence.
IV. Don't Play By Her Rules
If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and submit to, a more powerful man.
V. Adhere To The Golden Ratio: 2/3
Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more.
VI. Keep Her Guessing
True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don't really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight - his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate.
VII. Always Keep Two In The Kitty
A man with options is a man without need.
VIII. Say You're Sorry Only When Absolutely Necessary
Do not say you are sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies.
IX. Connect with her emotions
Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman's emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendezvous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic.
X. Ignore Her Beauty
The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. [Those who] lose their awe of beauty will, in turn, lose their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself "she's interesting" or "she might be worth getting to know". Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially a girl you're not fucking.
XI. Be Irrationally Self-Confident
No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does no matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get, what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog's instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don't make it easy for them.
XII. Maximize Your Strengths, Minimize Your Weaknesses
In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit...there is a groupie for every male endeavor.
XIII. Err On The Side Of Too Much Boldness, Rather Than Too Little
Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don't let a woman's faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known.
XIV. Fuck Her Good
Fuck her like it's your last fuck. And hers
XV. Maintain Your State Control
You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.
XVI. Never Be Afraid To Lose Her
You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don't give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Never Buy a Woman Drinks
Never buy a woman a drink in a club, unless you're out on a date with her. I'm sure the few women reading this will discard my way of thinking and label me a cheapskate, but hear me out.
I took great pride in never buying drinks for women, because ultimately I know it's just a waste of money. Why waste money on watered down, overpriced drinks just to get a woman's attention? You buying a drink has nothing to do with that woman liking you or possibly going home with you. As a matter of fact, there are plenty of women who specifically go to the club looking for guys to buy them drinks and they never have any intention of giving out their phone number, let alone going home with someone. They will only take enough money with them for the entrance fee and to buy one drink, because they know they can get some poor sucker to buy them drinks for the rest of the night if they bat their eyelashes in the right way or shake their ass. The worst offenders are the females who actually have the balls to ask you to buy them a drink. A female who does this is NOT interested in you, its because she thinks you're a simpleton who's dumb enough to do it. If she was really feeling you, she would be too afraid of asking you something like that because she'd be too worried about offending you. If a woman ever asks you to buy her a drink there are two correct responses. The first response is "No". The second correct response is "I'll buy you a drink on our first date".
I broke my rule about buying drinks ONE time. I was at the club with a friend and he had these two women sit down at our table. He proceeded to buy the one he was interested in a drink, and I just rolled my eyes at the thought. Well, I didn't want to be a complete jackass so I bought her friend a drink too. We were all talking for about 10 mins and the two women said they'd be right back they had to go to the bathroom. Well, I pretty much knew what was happening, so I decided to let it play out. Sure enough 5 mins later I looked and those two women were out on the dance floor dancing with two other guys, drinks in hand. I pointed this out to my friend and I stated "THAT is why you don't buy females drinks!". I almost considered walking over and taking the drink I bought out of her hand and gulping it down in her face. So what if she would've called me an asshole, I wasn't getting any pussy that night from her anyway.
If you're in such a hurry to waste your money, just go to your local strip club. At least you'll get to see some tits and ass for your money.
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