What Type of Guy are You?

Throughout my blog you may hear references to being an Alpha or Beta male.   To clear up any confusion, here are a few brief descriptions of the different types of men.  Which one are you?



Alpha Male
This type of Male is the guy who does it all fearlessly and for absolutely no one but himself. No female will ever control him, and those that try are promptly shown to the proverbial door. Never the less the hotties follow him around everywhere, and this is how he is most easily recognized in a crowd. 
Nothing hurts the Alpha emotionally (since he is as far out of touch with his own emotions as is humanly possible) and physical injury is all simply part and parcel to the game, as he will gladly, proudly and LOUDLY explain, all while showing off his most recent battle wounds to a delighted crowd of 'oohers and ahhers'. 
This guy's strength in the face of adversity is legendary and unmatched. He is the guy who gets more ass than a toilet seat. He ALWAYS gets the position and the promotion. His female neighbors admire and desire him. His male neighbors either love or despise him completely, and he cares about none of it. The best descriptors for the Alpha Male are: arrogant, aloof, boorish and sexually obsessed.

Beta Male
The very antithesis of the Alpha Male, this sad sack has spent his entire adult life abandoning any and all traditional (or Alpha) male gender roles and has instead dedicated his life to pleasing others (i.e. females). His needs come dead last, and you will never, ever hear him complain about it, even though he and everyone he knows is aware of how miserable he truly is. He is easily recognized in a crowd by his overbearing and domineering wife (though not necessarily large in physical stature), who is seldom far from his side. 
This terrifying creature controls every aspect of his life; his time, his money and his social/sex life, and he wouldn't say shit about it if he had a mouthful, either. 
This burned out shell of a man will most likely die early in his ceaseless and futile attempts to please the women in his life and not much about him will be missed by very many of them afterward, except for the selfless service he provided to them, perhaps. The best descriptors for the Beta Male are: hen-pecked, withdrawn, depressed and exhausted.

Omega Male
This Man has been forever put through the wringer by the females in his life. He is usually divorced, living alone and destitute. He is happy to receive the meager leftover scraps of a former life from his ex-wife, the court and even his kids, like a starving man feels about receiving a single cracker. 
He is not necessarily suicidal, but he certainly is still very much a masochist. 

His days consist of scraping by at some menial low wage job, and getting as drunk/stoned as he possibly can during the down time. He has few friends left except maybe his mother, as everyone else in his life is now gone, due to his protracted self pity and intoxication. He is not easily spotted or recognized in a crowd as he seldom goes anywhere except work and home to get drunk/stoned. He too will most likely die early out of self neglect and abuse. The Omega Male's best descriptors are: ashamed, intoxicated, detached and angry. 

Zeta Male
This Man has finally come full circle, having himself been each of the above type, at some point or another in his life. He now realizes that his whole life had been about his winning the approval of others (i.e. females) with virtually no returns on his investment whatsoever. Once this shattering reality had at last set in, his choice to reject the Alpha, Beta and Omega male lifestyles for a better way, became obvious. 

The Zeta Male is able to succeed and be happy with himself (according to his own definitions), no matter who may or may not approve. He is neither a jock douche bag, a wimpy nerd, nor a hopeless loser. He knows how to unashamedly draw on or reject either type's strengths and weaknesses, depending on his situation, if needs be. He has decided to reject trying to win the approval of others (especially females) and instead is focused on the bigger realities of life, such as his own self-approval and acceptance. He is easily recognized in a crowd because he is the one having the most (genuine) fun regardless of others (females) around him. He feels no need to show off nor apologize in any way, and he is well liked for it. The best descriptors for the Zeta Male are: self sufficient, happy, unashamed and whole.