So a few weekends ago one of our swinger friends wanted to celebrate her birthday at a hotel bar. She invited a lot of people to come, but it ended up being just us and one other swinger couple. There was the couple that we used to be friends with that got invited too, but they told her at the last minute they wouldn't be able to go. I'm betting they backed out because they knew we would be there, which is really childish if you think about it. The night was supposed to be about our friend's birthday so they should have come anyway. This is the same swinger friend of ours who's husband left her after 20 years of marriage, so they should have come out to support her.
So we celebrated at a hotel bar that's a well-known swinger hangout. We didn't know the other couple that attended, but one thing about swingers is that they are usually friendly and will talk to anyone, plus they always have interesting stories to tell. It was fun listening to them talk about the first time they met our friend, and the husband's fascination with titties.
Afterwards my wife told me that she really thought hard about having a threesome with our friend since it was her birthday, but she just couldn't do it. She said while we were both swinging, she noticed that as time went on she started losing her jealousy over me and that seemed to coincide with her starting to loose interest in me. She said she feels like the healthy type of jealousy is back for her, and she would just feel a little too jealous watching me have sex with another woman. Of course, she always tells me this stuff AFTER the fact when the opportunity is gone. Our friend is extremely bisexual (borderline lesbian) and she has always wanted to hook up with the wife and I, so I'm sure if she had known my wife was considering it, she would've put the full course press on my wife.
Here's what I honestly think about the situation. I've told my wife plenty of times recently that I feel like giving me a threesome would make up a little bit for everything that happened while we were swinging, but she tells me I won't be getting another one. It's not so much that I desire another woman, but I think it's the fact the she pretty much did what she wanted while we were swinging, and didn't really make much of an effort to get a threesome for me. I know. My rationale is crazy, I'll admit. Here's what I really think is going on and why she didn't want to go through with the threesome.
I think if it's a sexual situation where I might get more enjoyment out of something than she will, then my wife doesn't really want to participate. But lets say for example if our bisexual friend was dating somebody my wife found attractive, I'd almost be willing to bet a month's salary that my wife probably would've wanted to have sex with them, because she would've found more benefit from it than a threesome. When I was giving my wife threesomes with guys, yes I was hoping it would make her want to repay the favor and find some women for us, but it was also great to see her happy and super satisfied.
My wife unfortunately just isn't wired the same way, and I think this is one area of her life where she is a bit selfish. Not necessarily saying this is a bad thing because my wife isn't normally a selfish person at all. I think we all have certain things we are selfish about, and it looks like I've found what my wife is selfish about, due to everything that happened while we were swinging.
So even though our "official" stance is that if something "just happens" with a woman or a couple, that would be okay, more than likely nothing will "just happen" with a woman, only couples. I don't really think I would be okay with that happening though, because at the end of the day I don't really feel comfortable with her getting to have sex with another man when my desires aren't being taken into consideration. It's probably best we just drop the whole possibility of swinging ever again, although I'd love to take another trip to Hedonism this summer. Decisions, Decisions......
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