Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Pavlov's Dog (Rewarding Bad Behavior)

Women have had this figured out for ages.   If a guy isn't acting right, they act accordingly.  They may give you the silent treatment.   Even worse, they withhold sex.

Nice Guys on the other hand do things backwards.   If their women seems to be in a sour mood or just doesn't seem to be acting right, we buy her gifts.   We take her out on a date, or buy flowers.   When a women isn't having sex often enough for our liking, we try to do something romantic thinking this will get her to give us more sex.  Isn't that what all those articles (written by women of course) tell us we should do?

The problem here is that you are actually rewarding her bad behavior.

What you're doing is actually teaching her that it's okay for her to treat you the way she does.   Every time she withholds sex, she gets a nice dinner.   Every time she is acting like a brat, you show her more affection.     If you have a kid that's pouting or isn't acting right, would you go and buy them some ice cream to reward the way they're acting?  Of course not, so why do it with your woman?

This is how a lot of REALLY attractive women behave.   Because she's pretty, people have been kissing her ass her whole life.   Why should she change the way she behaves if you are still catering to her every whim?

I shake my head at men who only get sex a few times a month buying their women jewelry or gifts.     A woman isn't paying you a lot of attention, and you go buy her some flowers.   Why in God's name would you do that?    If anything you should STOP doing those things until she acts right.    (By the way guys, a woman who tries to use sex as a weapon or a bargaining tool isn't somebody you want to be with in the first place.)   I'm not just preaching this from the mountaintop either, I've made this mistake myself a few times.   I know what these men are going through because I've been there.

When my wife was thinking of leaving me (for another guy of course), I was at my worst.    Even one of my guy friends was telling me I need to buy flowers, perfume, candy, etc.   I was giving her massages, buying flowers, preparing romantic candlelit dinners, etc for almost a month straight.  Even took her on a surprise getaway.    All because that's what society conditions us guys to do if something is wrong in our relationship. Once I actually found out what was REALLY going on in my relationship, all that nice treatment came to a SCREECHING HALT.  Between you and me, all those massages and dinners did NOTHING to force her to make a decision.  Only when I got my balls back and basically told her to piss or get off the pot (make a decision) did things change.  Women don't like or respect wimps, aka Nice Guys.      

What you need to do is flip the script here.  You have to reward GOOD behavior.    The same way women have us trained (wash her car, get a blowjob, etc.)  is what you need to do.    Your woman gives you a surprise blowjob downstairs in the living room....reward her with a massage or movie night.   A woman gives you sex 3 or 4 times in a week....treat her to a romantic dinner.  You get the picture.  Women have been doing this to us for ages, it's time we learn the tricks of the trade.

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