Unicorn Strategy: The Hunt For Pink

My wife and I went for a walk yesterday.    She surprised and said she'd been thinking about how we're going to find our single female.    She said she was thinking we should create another profile on adultfriendfinder to find someone.   Create the profile just long enough for us to find someone, have the threesome, then delete the profile.   She also said we can start going to some meet and greets, and she's also open to the idea of it being someone we already know, and she specifically mentioned the female that contacted me last week.

I'm open for all of that, but if it's a female that we already know it needs to be someone we both really like.   I did give my wife's phone number to the female that contacted me and my wife offered to meet her for drinks, so maybe they'll get along well enough to broach the subject.   As far as adultfriendfinder goes, I just hope we don't run across a bunch of flaky females like we did the last time.   I also hope some of the couples we used to play with that wrote us off don't try to contact us either.   Don't know if we'll have too much luck at the meet and greets, as most of the women we run into aren't our type.   Perhaps we'll go buy another membership at the swingers club and start visiting more often.  At this point, it's exciting to see that she's willing to do whatever it takes to find our unicorn.

Ahhhh, the thrill of the hunt.

Swinging From A Female Perspective: Part I

So I've been trying now for some time to get my wife to write about our experiences swinging from a female's perspective.    Here is Part I:

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How does a woman in a monogamous marriage agree to "play around" with another couple?  Well this woman did it to please my husband; initially that is.  But it ended with only thinking about me and my pleasure.

See I had shared early on in our relationship about my previous marriage and the threesomes I would have with other men and the threesomes my girlfriend and I gave to our men.  I shared this knowing he desired this type of woman and I wanted to be that woman for him.  But when I realized I did not want to share my amazing man, I began to feel guilt for no longer wanting to be that swinger wife.  For my husband it seemed that having this knowledge about my past made it difficult for him to understand my hesitance to allow others into our bed.  He often mentioned that "I did it for my ex" and I would feel guilty that I didn't want that in our lives.  While he was feeling I didn't love him enough.  I was feeling that I didn't want to jeopardize our marriage.

So after a few years of discussion and drama nearly non stop from my adult daughters, I agreed.  It was time he had another woman to spice it up and relieve the stress that had been building up.  The agreement was to find a couple to swap with while in Jamaica.  We agreed on the boundaries and agreed it would stay in Jamaica.  I have to say that Jamaica was amazing; but the sex we experienced was not even close to the fantasy we had created.  I found myself feeling angry that he could even get hard and perform. However, when we returned home and talked about having sex with others; it was more intense and exciting for me.  And at that point I decided it was time to meet some other couples.

First we built a profile on a site to meet other swingers.  We were only interested in other couples.  We had to agree on the other profiles before we added them as friends or communicated.  We had to agree on each picture we posted.  As time went on, we changed our profile.  We added single females.  We went to a few meet and greets and met some couples; but usually found one of us would be "taking one for the team". Which we agreed it had to be a win win situation to have sex with another couple.  Well after a while you just lower your standards some and add single males.  Our rules for sexual contact with others had gone from many to only 2 rules.  At this point I believe is where it all started to go wrong.

First Visit to a Swingers Club: Part I

We live in the Pacific Northwest, and we're known for having the largest number of strip clubs per capita in the United States.  As a side note, we also have the lowest number of churches per capita, so I guess the two go hand in hand.  We also have quite a few swinger clubs in the area as well.  At this point, we weren't wanting to have sex with other people, but we loved the idea of watching others and being watched.

We visited this one well-known swingers club in the area and did a tour.  After the tour, my wife kinda felt like the place looked like a "flop house" (whore house) so we didn't purchase a membership.  There was also a LOT of single males there that night, and I didn't see any single females.  I thought it looked okay, but you know how we men are.  We'll have sex on a cardboard box and not care.

Fast forward a few months, and we heard about this new club that just opened, and we decided to go on a tour.  The person who led us around was very friendly, and she showed us and another couple what the club had to offer.  She mentioned the club was in the process of getting its liquor license, which was a huge plus for us.  She told us that a lot of people just come there to watch others, and there's never any pressure to play.  They have different theme nights, and later that night when the club opens it will be "Gangbang night", and they will let in more single males than usual.   On most nights they limit the number of single guys to just 10, so that was another huge plus for me.

They have a couples area that is only for couples and females.  We liked the fact that they had a dance floor, and it was upscale looking.  The Couples Lounge featured a lot of beds, separated by sheer red curtains.  This was certainly better looking than the previous place we saw, and all of the rooms upstairs were connected to each other, and you could close the door or leave it open so others can watch.

We also liked the fact that they have security walking around, so if anyone is being overly aggressive or creeping you out, you can just alert one of the security guards.  The entrance fee and membership fees were kind of pricey compared to the other club, but it was definitely more upscale.  They even offer a free hot buffet (they have a chef) included with the entry fee.  We didn't stay around that night, but we took the plunge and purchased a membership.

It took a few weeks for us to finally get up the nerve to go back for a night of fun.....

First Visit to a Clothing Optional Resort

People thought we were crazy when we said we were getting married at a clothing-optional resort.   This would be our first time visiting one, and we were both nervous and excited.   My wife just thought there would be all kinds of naked people trying to have sex with, so she almost backed out a few times until I convinced her that we wouldn't be doing anything with other people.  It was always a fantasy of mine to visit this kind of resort, and I'm glad my wife obliged.  I chose Desire Resorts in Mexico since it was a couples only resort.

When we got there, we were greeted with 2 glasses of champagne which was a nice touch.   We were shown to our room, which was kinda small but well maintained.   Because we were having our ceremony there, they assigned us a personal servant during our stay.   One of the things I love about the resort is room service pretty much all day and night.  This was also our first time at an all-inclusive resort.   There's nothing like waking up with a mimosa, then floating around the pool drinking alcohol.  

We went down by the pool, and for the first two days I kept my trunks on, and my wife kept her bikini top and bottom on.   By day three I was naked, and my wife was topless.  By day 5 we were both walking around naked.   One of the things I feared visiting a clothing-optional resort was that I would get an erection staring at some chick, but that never happened.   Then of course you think everyone is going to be looking at you, and you'll feel out of place.   On the contrary, we actually felt more self-conscious with our clothes on than without.   One thing I did notice though is at this resort pretty much everyone was in shape for some reason.

My wife's fears were never realized, as no one tried to fuck us lol.   Although I did make a comment about this Asian woman having a nice big ass, which landed me in the doghouse for a few hours.   Everyone was so nice and friendly towards us though, and did shots with us when we told them we were getting married on the beach.  I think one of the reasons no one was overly aggressive is because Desire Resorts is couples only.   I think its more of a place for romance in comparison to Hedonism II.    Also Desire Resorts discourages sexual acts in public by the main pool, so that's another reason people are so laid back.  This guy was going down on his wife by the pool and one of the hotel staff walked over and warned them.  We did have one aggressive incident though.   I left my wife alone so I could get drinks, and this couple had her cornered in the pool for a few minutes, trying to get her back to their room.  

At night time most people headed up to the Rooftop Jacuzzi.    Think about the size of a pool in a big apartment complex, and that's the size of the jacuzzi.   There's also a bar in the middle of the jacuzzi to keep the alcohol flowing.  There are beds all around the jacuzzi along with fire pits.   It's very romantic and erotic being up there, watching the couples have sex in the beds.  My wife and I both said we would love to go back, and it completely wiped away all of her misconceptions about clothing-optional places.  It also changed our perception about couples who swing.   Also at night they have a disco, and in the back of the disco there is a play area.   I wanted to have sex with my wife in there, but she wasn't comfortable with the idea of having sex with people so close to you.  This was back in 2007, and we had notion of being in the lifestyle back then.      

In my opinion, Desire Resorts is the perfect place to go if you are curious about taking your spouse/partner to a clothing-optional place.   There is no pressure to be nude, plus with it being couples-only you won't have to worry about any overly aggressive people.   It's an awesome place to have a wedding or renew your vows!  People who look at our wedding pictures have NO idea we got married at clothing optional resort.  We've heard from other people too that all the Desire Resorts are pretty much the same, so you can't go wrong with either one you pick.

Swinging, Sexuality, and Religion

At one time, my wife was really big on going to church each week and having a close relationship with God.   Lately she's been worrying a lot about our daughters, and also about me since I had a sibling pass away recently.    So two weekends ago she decided to start going back to church.   When she went back the first time, she said it helped a lot and she didn't experience the same anxiety anymore.

I was raised going to church also, but  I always questioned things about modern day Christianity even as a youngster.    I remember writing a youth pastor in my church about interracial relationships, and if God thinks they are okay.    His answer was that even though the Bible doesn't specifically say anything about interracial relationships, we shouldn't do things that would negatively draw attention to ourselves as a Christian.  Even as a youngster I had a big problem with this answer because it just didn't seem right.   I was also very curious about sex and nudity as a youngster, and at times I would feel guilty about that.

When my wife and I were swingers, sometimes I would feel like I wasn't allowed to pray for things because we were being sinful.   Of course we had other people give their feedback and say that no man should ever want to see his woman with another man, or would say we were committing adultery.    Funny thing is, some of those same people were having premarital sex and/or living together, yet they didn't see anything wrong with what THEY were doing.   I guess that's always been one of my issues about organized religion, is that people seem to pick and choose what parts of the Bible suit them at the time.  Then of course we have Lutherans, Pentecostals, Methodists, Seventh Day Adventists, Catholics, Greek Orthodox, etc....all these different sects because people have taken one book and put their own interpretation to it.    Then what about people who were on the earth before Christ?   Are all those people who believed in God before Christ was on earth going to hell because they weren't "Christians"?  Those guys in the Old Testament had multiple wives.   Also, why should we feel wrong for questioning some of the things in the Bible, God gave us a brain right?    Anyway....I digress.

So I asked my wife if she felt like we were wrong in the eyes of God for swinging, and she said yes.    I posted the question last week on a few Google communities asking how to people reconcile swinging with their religion.   One person had quite the interesting response.   He pointed out how people's religious interpretation of the Bible seem to change over time, and I tend to agree with that.   People used to believe that divorce was a sin, now the divorce rate is over 50% in the US.   People also used to shun those having premarital sex, now people could care less.    Adam and Eve were naked in the Garden of Eden and only covered up because they were ashamed, so why is nudity such a big deal?   My best friend growing up was a Muslim.   His family always made me feel welcomed at their house, and they were genuinely good people.  Am I supposed to believe they are condemned to hell just because they read a different book (Quran)  than I did growing up?

I guess I'm a little conflicted.   On the one hand, I don't really see why anything is wrong with nudity or sex between consenting adults as long you're not cheating on your spouse or partner.   On the other hand, I do want a closer relationship with God but worry that my views on things may not make this possible.   I do fully support my wife in wanting to go back to church, just as long as she doesn't become a holy rolling, hell fire and brimstone bible-thumper.

For those of you in polyamorous or swinging relationships, what is your take on the role of religion with regards to modern day sexuality?  For those of you who are religious, how do you reconcile your views with your religion?  Do you think 100 years from now, people won't think swinging or polyamory is that out of the norm?    Those who are not religious can also feel free to chime in as well.







  

My First and Only Threesome

Finally.   Finally at the age of 36 I was about to get my first threesome.   I'd been trying for over 10 years to get a threesome with two women.   I was close to it a few times.  One time I had both women lined up and I'd gotten a hotel room in their city.   One of the ladies was gung ho about it, because she had always fantasized about being with a woman.   I called the other as I was driving down there and she said "You just seem way to happy about fucking another woman and I just don't want to do it anymore."   What the fuck?   Was I supposed to act like I was sad about getting a threesome?  So strike one for me.

Then there was a time I found a woman who was willing to give me one, but she said she wanted to be with me by herself for a few times at first.  (By the way fellas, NEVER fall for this trick...because that woman has ZERO intention of ever giving you a threesome)  So we had sex a few times, but she never gave me a threesome.  Strike two.

There was one night where I just KNEW it was going to happen.  The women already knew each other, and they had given other guys threesomes, and they both agreed to be at my apartment at a certain time one night.  Well one of them showed up, and the other stood us up.  DAMMIT.  Strike three.

So when my wife and I became swingers and threw our first party, I required all of the single guys to bring a female as a date.  Previously my wife and I hadn't had much luck in finding a single woman to play with, so I figured this would be a good way to meet some women.  I just couldn't figure out why it was so hard to arrange a threesome when all the other guys seemed to be getting them.  (Really in hindsight, my wife wasn't really trying that hard to find a woman.)   This guy that came to our party was pretty much an asshole, but I ended up getting his date's phone number.  I had already given my wife two threesomes with guys, and I felt like it was my turn.  I took matters into my own hands and I called the woman, and set up a date for her to come over.

That night I was super nervous and excited.   I kept thinking she might stand us up, but thankfully she showed up.  My wife was already wearing some sexy lingerie, so our guest got showered and put on some lingerie as well.   We talked for a bit and started having some drinks.   Our guest and my wife were talking about everyday stuff like work and I kept thinking "When are we all going to get naked?"  After what seemed like an hour of talking, I finally I put on a porno and we sat down on the couch to watch it.  About 15 mins later we were headed upstairs.   What better way to end the night than with one woman sitting on my face and the other riding me?   Or both of them giving me head at the same time?   That night was fantastic and I went to sleep with a great smile on my face.

That next morning we had some more fun as I ended up having anal sex with our guest while my wife was in the bathroom taking a bath.  I thought that night would be the beginning of many more threesomes for me, but sadly that was my one and only threesome.   Trust me I appreciate the fact that I finally got one, but when you experience something new and exciting, is one time really enough?

A threesome with two women should be on EVERY guys bucket list and you need to do whatever you've gotta do to make that happen.   It just takes a lot of patience and planning, but it will happen if you keep at it.  Hell it took me over 10 years to get one.  The difficult part is that if you as the male try to find the two women, you've got a long road to go.   Women are so damned picky, and it's a big hassle trying to find two different women who are going to be attracted to each other, with no personality clash.  It's much easier if the woman you are with finds the other woman for you.   Even better is if she has a freaky female friend that she trusts that's willing to help make it happen.   Even this can backfire too as females can be quite flaky at times.  We have a female friend that swore up and down she would do a threesome with us, but would always find some excuse not to do it, or would chicken out.   That's why I'm glad I ended up taking matters into my own hands because otherwise it wouldn't have happened.

Good luck fellas, and happy hunting!

  



   

Attention Whores

Trying to find a single female in the swinging world is really a lot like finding a female in the regular world.   It's a difficult task at best, and there are lots of women out there who quite frankly, are just a waste of your time.  

If there's one thing you should get pissed about, it's people who waste your time.   This applies to women who say they want to meet but always have a convenient excuse, and also women who are always late.  You know what I'm talking about.  You know there are those women you've been communicating with for months online but can't ever seem to nail them down for a time to meet.  It's that woman you finally schedule a date with, only to have her come up with up some lame excuse for why she can't meet.   Worse yet, it's that woman that stands you up and leaves you sitting at a restaurant or bar like a loser.

People like this are people who don't value or respect your  time.    When we were looking for single females online, there would always be hordes of women who would send endless emails back and forth, but would never give us their phone number.  The best thing to do with women like this is to just move on.  I remember one woman in my single days in particular who used to waste my time like this.    Instead of accepting it like I normally would do, I decided to do something different.   I put her ass in the "friend zone".    That's right, I told her that we'd probably be better off as friends instead of trying to date.    See women aren't used to a guy doing this to them so it freaks them out.   "Oh no, this guy isn't going to give me attention anymore!"     Incredibly, just two days later she asked ME out on a date.  Try this tactic the next time a woman flakes on you.        

Your time is valuable.    You can afford to lose money because it can be gained back.  You can lose your girlfriend or wife, but you can get another one.   There are lots of things in life you can afford to lose but your time is not one of them.  If you lose even 10 minutes of time, you will NEVER get it back.    EVER.  

We have a female friend of ours who keeps saying she wants a threesome with us.   The opportunity has presented itself lots of times, but she never does it...or some excuse comes up.   Because she is our friend we keep giving her the benefit of the doubt, and over a year later there still hasn't been a threesome.    I saw this happening well before my wife began to see it, because Nice Guys have an inner sense about these things.  We know when somebody is jerking our chain and just playing games.    Since then we've become very good friends with this person, but we are no longer giving her the benefit of the doubt.   Great friend though, and that's where she shall remain......the Friend Zone.    Because people who really want to do something don't keep making excuses for why it can't happen.  By the way, this same friend also has a habit of showing up late whenever we have a get-together or something planned.    Coincidence?  

Car salesmen will tell you that the people who are serious about buying a car will show up to the lot, test drive, and buy that same day.   Some may come back a few days or a week later, but they don't let too much time go by without closing the deal.   When we finally found a female for our threesome, we gave her a date that worked for everybody, she showed up that night (ON TIME), and we had sex.  It really was that simple.  See, people who are serious about doing stuff don't waste your time with excuses.

Guys, it's time to start realizing that your time is VALUABLE.  People who truly respect your time don't do things like habitually show up late or stand you up.   Stop letting these attention whores take the one thing you can't afford to lose....your time.