First Visit to a Clothing Optional Resort

People thought we were crazy when we said we were getting married at a clothing-optional resort.   This would be our first time visiting one, and we were both nervous and excited.   My wife just thought there would be all kinds of naked people trying to have sex with, so she almost backed out a few times until I convinced her that we wouldn't be doing anything with other people.  It was always a fantasy of mine to visit this kind of resort, and I'm glad my wife obliged.  I chose Desire Resorts in Mexico since it was a couples only resort.

When we got there, we were greeted with 2 glasses of champagne which was a nice touch.   We were shown to our room, which was kinda small but well maintained.   Because we were having our ceremony there, they assigned us a personal servant during our stay.   One of the things I love about the resort is room service pretty much all day and night.  This was also our first time at an all-inclusive resort.   There's nothing like waking up with a mimosa, then floating around the pool drinking alcohol.  

We went down by the pool, and for the first two days I kept my trunks on, and my wife kept her bikini top and bottom on.   By day three I was naked, and my wife was topless.  By day 5 we were both walking around naked.   One of the things I feared visiting a clothing-optional resort was that I would get an erection staring at some chick, but that never happened.   Then of course you think everyone is going to be looking at you, and you'll feel out of place.   On the contrary, we actually felt more self-conscious with our clothes on than without.   One thing I did notice though is at this resort pretty much everyone was in shape for some reason.

My wife's fears were never realized, as no one tried to fuck us lol.   Although I did make a comment about this Asian woman having a nice big ass, which landed me in the doghouse for a few hours.   Everyone was so nice and friendly towards us though, and did shots with us when we told them we were getting married on the beach.  I think one of the reasons no one was overly aggressive is because Desire Resorts is couples only.   I think its more of a place for romance in comparison to Hedonism II.    Also Desire Resorts discourages sexual acts in public by the main pool, so that's another reason people are so laid back.  This guy was going down on his wife by the pool and one of the hotel staff walked over and warned them.  We did have one aggressive incident though.   I left my wife alone so I could get drinks, and this couple had her cornered in the pool for a few minutes, trying to get her back to their room.  

At night time most people headed up to the Rooftop Jacuzzi.    Think about the size of a pool in a big apartment complex, and that's the size of the jacuzzi.   There's also a bar in the middle of the jacuzzi to keep the alcohol flowing.  There are beds all around the jacuzzi along with fire pits.   It's very romantic and erotic being up there, watching the couples have sex in the beds.  My wife and I both said we would love to go back, and it completely wiped away all of her misconceptions about clothing-optional places.  It also changed our perception about couples who swing.   Also at night they have a disco, and in the back of the disco there is a play area.   I wanted to have sex with my wife in there, but she wasn't comfortable with the idea of having sex with people so close to you.  This was back in 2007, and we had notion of being in the lifestyle back then.      

In my opinion, Desire Resorts is the perfect place to go if you are curious about taking your spouse/partner to a clothing-optional place.   There is no pressure to be nude, plus with it being couples-only you won't have to worry about any overly aggressive people.   It's an awesome place to have a wedding or renew your vows!  People who look at our wedding pictures have NO idea we got married at clothing optional resort.  We've heard from other people too that all the Desire Resorts are pretty much the same, so you can't go wrong with either one you pick.

17 Beliefs of the Super Rich

I saw this in an email I received, so I don't take credit for the content.    Seeing as how I'm trying to change my belief system about things (more positive thinking) I thought this was excellent to share.

17 Beliefs of the Super Rich

1.  Rich people believe "I create my life."   Poor people believe "Life happens to me."

2.  Rich people play the money game to win.  Poor people play the money game not to lose

3.  Rich people are committed to being rich.  Poor people WANT to be rich.

4.  Rich people think big.  Poor people think small.

5.  Rich people focus on opportunities.  Poor people focus on obstacles.

6.  Rich people admire other rich and successful people.  Poor people resent rich and successful people.

7.  Rich people associate with positive, successful people.  Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people.

8.  Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value.   Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.

9.  Rich people are bigger than their problems.  Poor people are smaller than their problems.

10.  Rich people are excellent receivers.  Poor people are poor receivers.

11.  Rich people choose to get paid based on results.  Poor people choose to get paid based on time.

12.  Rich people think "both".  Poor people think "either/or".

13.  Rich people focus on their net worth.  Poor people focus on their working income.

14.  Rich people manage their money well.  Poor mismanage their money well.

15.  Rich people have their money work hard for them.  Poor people work hard for their money.

16.  Rich people act in spite of fear.  Poor people let fear stop them.

17.  Rich people constantly learn and grow.  Poor people think they already know.

Swinging, Sexuality, and Religion

At one time, my wife was really big on going to church each week and having a close relationship with God.   Lately she's been worrying a lot about our daughters, and also about me since I had a sibling pass away recently.    So two weekends ago she decided to start going back to church.   When she went back the first time, she said it helped a lot and she didn't experience the same anxiety anymore.

I was raised going to church also, but  I always questioned things about modern day Christianity even as a youngster.    I remember writing a youth pastor in my church about interracial relationships, and if God thinks they are okay.    His answer was that even though the Bible doesn't specifically say anything about interracial relationships, we shouldn't do things that would negatively draw attention to ourselves as a Christian.  Even as a youngster I had a big problem with this answer because it just didn't seem right.   I was also very curious about sex and nudity as a youngster, and at times I would feel guilty about that.

When my wife and I were swingers, sometimes I would feel like I wasn't allowed to pray for things because we were being sinful.   Of course we had other people give their feedback and say that no man should ever want to see his woman with another man, or would say we were committing adultery.    Funny thing is, some of those same people were having premarital sex and/or living together, yet they didn't see anything wrong with what THEY were doing.   I guess that's always been one of my issues about organized religion, is that people seem to pick and choose what parts of the Bible suit them at the time.  Then of course we have Lutherans, Pentecostals, Methodists, Seventh Day Adventists, Catholics, Greek Orthodox, etc....all these different sects because people have taken one book and put their own interpretation to it.    Then what about people who were on the earth before Christ?   Are all those people who believed in God before Christ was on earth going to hell because they weren't "Christians"?  Those guys in the Old Testament had multiple wives.   Also, why should we feel wrong for questioning some of the things in the Bible, God gave us a brain right?    Anyway....I digress.

So I asked my wife if she felt like we were wrong in the eyes of God for swinging, and she said yes.    I posted the question last week on a few Google communities asking how to people reconcile swinging with their religion.   One person had quite the interesting response.   He pointed out how people's religious interpretation of the Bible seem to change over time, and I tend to agree with that.   People used to believe that divorce was a sin, now the divorce rate is over 50% in the US.   People also used to shun those having premarital sex, now people could care less.    Adam and Eve were naked in the Garden of Eden and only covered up because they were ashamed, so why is nudity such a big deal?   My best friend growing up was a Muslim.   His family always made me feel welcomed at their house, and they were genuinely good people.  Am I supposed to believe they are condemned to hell just because they read a different book (Quran)  than I did growing up?

I guess I'm a little conflicted.   On the one hand, I don't really see why anything is wrong with nudity or sex between consenting adults as long you're not cheating on your spouse or partner.   On the other hand, I do want a closer relationship with God but worry that my views on things may not make this possible.   I do fully support my wife in wanting to go back to church, just as long as she doesn't become a holy rolling, hell fire and brimstone bible-thumper.

For those of you in polyamorous or swinging relationships, what is your take on the role of religion with regards to modern day sexuality?  For those of you who are religious, how do you reconcile your views with your religion?  Do you think 100 years from now, people won't think swinging or polyamory is that out of the norm?    Those who are not religious can also feel free to chime in as well.







  

12 Years A Slave

I saw this movie over the weekend.   The movie was really tough to watch during certain scenes, but I would wholeheartedly recommend that everyone sees the movie, as it truly illustrates the cruelty and horror of slavery.

After I left the movie, the one thought that stayed with me during the movie was just how much some of my ancestors truly had to endure and overcome.  It's kind of coincidental that I'd also been researching my own family history on ancestry.com, and was able to go back as far as 1820.  It's a strange thing to be able to look up a relative who more than likely was born into slavery.

I was left with a sense that I owe it to my deceased relatives and other slaves to actually make something of myself.  If a slave can be motivated enough to risk his life by teaching himself how to read, there's seriously NO excuse for why I haven't finished my college degree or why I'm stuck in a job I can't stand.   People have been jailed, had water hoses and dogs turned on them, and/or have died for me to have the right to vote, yet I haven't voted since the last presidential election.

It's amazing how we take so many things for granted because we didn't have to do anything to earn it.  I would often hear my dad and uncles talk about how they would make sure they walked in groups to avoid being singled out and attacked, yet I'm able to walk around by myself without a care in the world.  I think of Emmit Till who was beaten and shot to death for whistling at a white woman, and yet my wife and I can walk around holding hands as an interracial couple without much thought.

I think it's time I stop taking things for granted and truly appreciate all of the opportunities that have been afforded to me through the struggle of others.  

The Power of Negativity

So I was reading a book the other day and the author made a pretty interesting point about negativity.    He states that if you have negativity and resentment in your life, then you can't really expect to have a positive life.  He also said you need to forgive people who have wronged you in the past.    Forgiving doesn't mean you forget what they did, but it simply means you have learned from it and you are truly ready to move on.

If you're still angry and bitter over what someone has done to you, then not only has that person affected your past, you're still allowing them to affect your present, and that person probably isn't thinking twice about you.   You're still angry and bitter, and that person has moved on with their life.

This hit home for me because one of the guys my wife cheated on me with is still friends with a mutual friend of ours.    Every time I see his grinning face on Facebook, I want to grab a pipe and knock all his teeth down his throat.  But really, he doesn't give a shit about any chaos he may have caused...he's just going on with his life.   Most people don't mean to consciously hurt you on purpose, they are thinking only of their wants at the time, and aren't thinking of the ramifications of their actions.   If there's someone out there who made a conscious and deliberate effort to hurt you, they aren't worth your thoughts anyway.

I also had to do some deep thinking about my wife.  I said I've forgiven her, but did I really?    There were still moments where I felt like I was "entitled" to something because of her cheating, and there were still times where I would wonder why other people could control themselves but she couldn't?  There were times where I would go through her cellphone/email and lash out at anything I thought to be suspicious.     I realized that all I was doing was reliving the pain and anger all over again, and for what?   There is NOTHING positive that can come from constantly holding on to negativity.    

The first thing I did was to look my wife in the eye and tell her that I truly forgive her.   The second thing I did was to write the guy my wife cheated on me with and tell him that I forgive him.    Now I don't want to be his friend, and I really don't want anything to do with him because he still refuses to admit what happened.   Writing him was not for his benefit, but it was for mine.   It was not an easy thing to do, and I was admittedly gritting my teeth the whole time.    I have to admit though I felt a huge weight being lifted from my shoulders.   I didn't realize just how much negativity I was holding on to and it felt good to let it go.


   

Told You So

Remember that couple that we stopped being friends with because I tried to tell the husband what his wife was up to?   Looks like the wife has been going around running her mouth to our former swingers' circle about how we're all about drama, and they don't associate with us anymore because they "don't do drama".   You would think people that don't like drama wouldn't be going around trying to make us look bad to all of our friends like we're back in high school.   Some people are just childish like that, and like to be the center of attention.

So I was texting the other day with this single guy swinger that I'm still cool with.  He was telling me how his birthday was coming up in a few days, and he's trying to find some booty to hook up with.   I mentioned the name of the single woman that helped give me a threesome, since I know she likes him a lot.     He went on about how he contacted her already and she's trying to set something up for him.    He was reminiscing about the last time he was with her.   He said he got a hotel room and she made him cum 3 times and still wanted more.    He also said she was trying to arrange a threesome for his birthday.

Come to find out he had his females confused.   He wasn't talking about the single female that gave us the threesome, he was talking about the female from that couple we are no longer friends with.  What's funny about that is when we were swinging with them, the guy would hardly even let her play with single males at a party.   He always gave single males a hard time and was very cautious about it.  Even up until just a few months ago he still hadn't given her a threesome with another guy.  Even when we were having sex with them, if I made his wife moan extra loud or something he would always look up to see what I was doing.  I think part of his paranoia about single guys was because his wife had a 2 year long affair with someone before they started swinging.  He also wouldn't allow his wife to play with guys who have a bigger dick than he does.

So you can imagine my surprise to find out this single guy hooked up with his wife.  I asked him if the husband knew, and he said yes....that he knew all about it.    Sorry, but my Spidey Sense is tingling on this one.   I find it very hard to believe that this guy who was so paranoid about single guys has done a complete 180 and now allows her to play with single guys by herself, and then to let her plan on giving another guy a threesome.  Also throw in the fact that this single guy is 13 years younger and has a 9 inch dick, and her husband didn't want her playing with guys larger than he is.   I'd almost be willing to bet any amount of money that she's doing exactly what I told him to watch out for, and she's cheating on him.   If I've learned anything from being in the lifestyle it's that most single guys who swing are loyal only to their dicks, so it would be no sweat for this guy to lie about the husband knowing about the hotel.   Also, the husband saw first hand what happened to our relationship with all the single guys so I'm just not buying it.

I honestly think his wife is a sex addict.   She literally will have sex with ANYBODY at a party, no matter how they look.   She said the reason she had an affair before is that her husband is normally boring in bed.  It was after the affair was discovered that she let him know she was a swinger before they started dating.  In the beginning, she would always find females to give him a threesome or they would only play with couples.   I kept wondering why he never returned the favor and gave her a threesome, and that's when I was told about the affair.   All the threesomes were a way to make up for what she did, but in reality it was so she eventually could fuck other guys again.   Very smart on her part, and her plan worked like a charm.  I'll give her that.

Oh well...I tried warning him.   Also there are a few other people in our circle who suspect the same thing I do, so it's not like I'm alone in my thinking.  Who knows though, maybe he's lightened up and they've started doing hallpasses.   If I were a betting man though, I'd say she's still up to no good.

What The Hell Is He Thinking???

So I was chatting with my coworker who's wife left him stranded on their vacation and also had him thrown in jail.   A couple of weeks ago she also had him served with divorce papers.    He moved out of their house, and he is now currently living with his parents.

He was telling me that he told his soon to be ex-wife that he wanted to be there to watch Monday night football tonight.    In their house he has a 90" projector screen so he wants to watch the game on it.   She said that it's his house too, and of course he can come over anytime he wants.   He said that he thinks she may be realizing what she did was wrong, and there may be a chance for reconciliation.

What.  The.  Hell.

This woman had him thrown in jail, and then changed the plane tickets so that she could fly back home that same night, and she also took the rental car back.   When he got out of jail, he was completely stranded and had to call his parents for help.    Then she serves him with divorce papers a week later, plus he has to fly back to California for his court date, and he's thinking of taking her back???

I mean I guess I'm not one to talk since I took my wife back after she cheated on me, but I just don't think I could take somebody back who had me thrown in jail and left me stranded like that.    To each their own I guess, but I think he's making a big mistake.    This isn't the first time she's lost her temper either, as there have been multiple times where they have started arguing and yelling in public.  They have no kids together so it should be a clean and easy break.

I'm all for couples working things out.....but it just seems like they are avoiding the inevitable......